A Short Story About Your SELF
Launching the oxymoron egoismul pozitiv or positively SELFish was a very challenging endeavour in 2016. Though, in the meantime, the pandemic has softly steered the conversation from doing good to better self-care, there is still a cultural distinction between what is considered to be selfless and selfish – one trait is desirable, the other not so much.
In the summer of 2016 I was invited by the Alternative University of Bucharest to run a workshop about freedom in relationships for a student camp event. As I was thinking about the topic in my light gray kitchen, I remembered a time where my free efforts to support others were considered selfless, though they had brought me joy too. And how another time, someone felt hurt by my actions and said: You are selfish!
Then I realised that in any relationship freedom is not a matter of black and white, either you have it or not. But rather a touch of gray, like the color of my kitchen. A little bit of my SELF and a little bit of your SELF keeps the conversation going. This is how we define boundaries, hold our ground, take a stand or move forward in our relationships.
Food for thought: Can I serve from an empty pot? What is selfish and what is not?
Checking our assumptions allows us to understand that:
- There is our SELF in selfless. Even if the action aims the benefit of someone else, you are still there. Silent witness and supporter of their journey with its joys, worries and challenges in life. Remember, some of our needs are also met through meeting others’ needs.
- There is our SELF in selfish. Being SELF-centred and being self-absorbed are two different things. How we care about our SELF is what we bring out into the world. Self-balancing and self-caring is not selfish at all, but rather a mature and responsible behaviour. We are able to respond safely and meaningfully to others’ needs only after we meet at least our basic needs. We can’t serve from an empty pot.
Positively selfish stands on two basic principles:
1. each action has a positive intention for your SELF (however selfless you may consider your actions)
2. caring for others starts with your own SELF-care (however selfish others may consider your actions)
A New Approach To SELF-Centring
This well-defined concept laid the foundation of an original learning program for SELF-Leadership called #EgoismulPozitiv®/ Positively SELFish.
The program is a series of lateral workshops where people of various interests and backgrounds come together to practice learning, share wisdom, get creative, open up and shift perspective to lead their lives for better. From professionals, parents, teachers, youth and entrepreneurs, you are most welcome to find your SELF in SELF-Leadership!
Your time during our lateral workshops means:
- growing SELF-Awareness
- developing SELF-autonomy by practicing self-ruling (lead) and surrendering (follow)
- training SELF-Empowering mindset, skill and behaviour in 4-key areas: Relationships, Conflict, Time, Creativity
At personal level, this could translate into diving the unexpected, (re)discovering what you want, trying out new things or challenging your comfort zone. The more you connect with your needs, fears, wishes and goals, the more you learn how to lead your SELF and bring value to your life. And thus, how you bring value to the world. Our workshops invite you to a place of SELF-centring through action – fully aware, more autonomous and willing to embrace meaningful change.
SELF-Leadership Starts With SELF-Centring
This is how:
1. Get the in-depth experience, insightful questions and coaching process to support your learning journey, individually and in groups. Learn more about how we work.
2. Enjoy the safe space and in momentum practical exercises where you can explore your inner subjective reality at bite-size level. Grow awareness and make your mark from the inside out! Read feedback.
3. Try out creative tools and practices to have fun, unlearn, shift perspective and thrive. Some passions I have turned into creative habits and integrated in our learning sessions together: theatre acting, free writing, foreign languages, poetry, photography, shodō (Japanese calligraphy). Discover what tools we use.
4. Empower yourself with SELF-Leadership within a community of people equally interested in topics like: building resilience, avoiding burnout/mental exhaustion, decision-making in uncertainty, vulnerability, conflict, relationships, self-talk, empathy, public speaking, managing feelings, team communication and feedback, change making, time and energy control, challenging belief systems, addressing professional vanity, overcoming cultural resistance and many more.
Our original learning programs for SELF-Leadership are available in Romanian and English, for 1:1 or group sessions, either in-person or online, via digital platforms.