Can I serve from an empty pot?
What is selfish and what is not?
Note to SELF #1
- What we make of our SELF is what we give back to the world.
- Read out loud the words “selfish” and “selfless”. What do you notice? Indeed, there is the same sense of SELF in both, however “-less” or altruistic the second word may sound.
- Here are two key-learnings that will help you foster care, empathy and motivation for your SELF and others:
Each action has a positive intention for your SELF! (“the good intention behind an action” in NLP terms)
This means that if you stay where you are, drive towards a goal or go away from a situation, you do it with purpose for your our own benefit, regardless of whoever else is influenced by our actions. Finding your self-interest in any action is crucial for better communication, growing empathy towards people, keep self-motivation or make sustainable changes!
Caring for others starts with your SELF-care! Meaning we need to at least keep ourselves afloat first!
Imagine you are on a plane, eight thousand feet in the air, defying gravity to get from point A to point B. In case of an emergency, oxygen masks drop down automatically and you remember the instructions: put the mask first on you, and then on the person next to you! You can help others only when you feel safe enough to do so!
Any act of kindness towards others starts with care for your SELF.
Find your SELF through the 6 basic human needs.
Think about volunteering, considered a selfless act of kindness according to social norms. Reflect with honesty about your personal benefits in helping others, either by offering knowledge, money, time, workforce, influence or all combined. You may find out through volunteering you feel useful, generate impact, prove as caring person, feel in control, learn skill, cope with loss, gain experience, manage fear, inspire others or simply find more joy in life!
Note to SELF #2
Is SELF the same with E G O?
Don’t worry about turning your SELF into ego! Remember the SELF is your inner core, non-judgemental being. Meanwhile, the ego is a construct of your mind to keep you safe from what your brain perceives as threat in the outside world.
The ego starts building at early ages, when we begin to make sense of the world around. So it works as a defence mechanism up to a point when it gets to play the captain instead of the co-pilot. So, the more connected you are with you SELF, the less you need your brain to invoke the force of ego to fight for your safety against stellar enemies.
Self-checking means to notice if the ego is still relevant for our reality and put it back where it belongs. Or just drop it for good.
Your SELF is… self-enough!
Note to SELF #3
Ego/ Eco-C H E C K
Though deeply rooted in many cultures, the idea of egoism is often considered a taboo subject. The term is so vilified that bodies tend to shiver only thinking about it! In opposition, people like speaking about altruism!
“The environment is everything that isn’t me.” – Albert Einstein
If we look in the word dictionary, there is a clear difference between egotism and egoism. I hope this clarification will bring a soothing light on why it is absolutely fine (and necessary!) to keep an eye on your SELF while helping others!
Indeed, we cannot serve from an empty pot!
To my understanding,
E g o t i s m
- Believe you are alone in the Universe and nothing else matters!
- Be so focused on your persona, that you turn a blind eye on other people and the environment.
- Behave senselessly towards the idea of a higher purpose or the great beyond!
- Call it a place of ego-check where you feel SELF-abandoned or disconnected.
E g o i s m
- Acknowledge your inner Universe as an important part of a whole!
- Become aware of that wide personal space you need to foster, explore and understand to be able to navigate in balance with the outside world.
- Act empathetic towards yourself and the world.
- Call it a place of eco-check where you feel SELF-connected.
* In coaching terms, “eco-check” means to harmonise your goal with all the other elements that are important to you in the desired context – friends, partners, work environment, family life etc.
Note to SELF #4
Am I the C E N T E R of the Universe?
Well, the cosmologic principle states that the Universe, seen from a considerable big distance is homogenous and looks the same no matter where you are. Focusing on yourself, you become the center of the Universe anytime, anywhere.
By analogy, the same happens within our inner world. Our focused attention on one part of ourselves turns it into the center of our Universe! How beautiful!
We ARE and ARE NOT the Center of the Universe at the same time!
Find out more!